Without an Audience

I almost forgot it was Wednesday today, even after anticipating writing on this day for the whole of last week. Fortunately, I realised it now, and I don't have to regret it tomorrow. Waiting for something for so long and then forgetting it on the exact day isn't new to me. My weird brain does this often. I've even forgotten close ones' birthdays and anniversaries sometimes. I don't know if my puppy-face "sorry" cools them down, but clearly, I should train my brain better. Never mind.

Last Sunday, I had a topic in mind to share here, something I was genuinely excited about. And then… I forgot it. Not even a small effort was made to recall it. I am honestly fed up with my bizarre memory. It works like a lazy librarian who misplaces the most important books and then shrugs like, "Not my problem."

Last week, despite having a heap of work, I doom-scrolled. Endlessly. Mindlessly. And I realised something I didn't quite like admitting to myself, I don’t enjoy social media the way I used to. I barely post anything now. My stories are rare. I don't feel like reacting to people's reels or photographs. I quietly exist there. I think "ghosting" is the perfect word for what I've been doing.

And somewhere between all that scrolling and silent observing, I have a 'gyan' to share!!!

You must learn to enjoy life without needing an audience to see that you are enjoying it.

Because let's be honest, half of us are not living life, we are preparing content. You go to a cafe and before even tasting the coffee, you're adjusting the cup like it's a model at a photoshoot. "Wait, don't touch the fries… I need a boomerang." By the time the perfect picture is clicked, the fries have lost their will to live. And God forbid if the lighting isn't aesthetic, suddenly your mood also isn't aesthetic. Vacations turn into content marathons. You come back more tired than you left, but hey, at least you have 17 posts and 43 stories to prove you had fun. We don't even laugh freely anymore —there’s always a tiny manager inside our head going, "This would make a good reel." And if we didn't post it? A small unnecessary doubt creeps in "Was it even that good?" It's funny how we've slowly started needing proof for our own happiness, like our memories won't count unless they are approved by a few hearts and views. But the most peaceful moments I've had lately are the ones that never made it online! No angles, no captions, no "seen by 530." Just me being there, fully, without overthinking the moment between living it and uploading it. And honestly, those moments feel like secret pockets of joy… untouched, unjudged, and completely mine.

If I rewind to three years ago, I was different. I would post on social media enthusiastically. If I'd travel somewhere I would make sure I had my pictures clicked —to later post it on my Instagram handle. But now, something has shifted quietly.

Now I sometimes sit in a place, look around, and don't reach for my phone. Around people who film every second, it feels unfamiliar… but oddly peaceful. I don't have to watch a sunset trying to frame it perfectly. It feels so relieving to let a moment exist without pressing it into a rectangle. Because somewhere along the way, we all start confusing living with showing. We measure joy by how presentable it looks.

Enjoying life without an audience feels almost like learning to walk again. At first, you look around, "Is anyone watching?" And when no one is, there's a strange discomfort. But then comes a small relief. You realise you don't have to perform your happiness. You don't have to prove it. You don't have to document every second of it like evidence. Maybe real joy was never meant to be announced. Maybe it was meant to be felt quietly, like a song only you can hear. Not everything beautiful needs a witness. Some moments are like handwritten letters, meant to be kept, not forwarded.

And I think I am slowly becoming someone I can’t fully put into words yet. Even something as small as fixing my blog made me realise this. My friends and family, and my constant readers had one complaint; the ads in between my articles were disturbing. So I sat down to fix it. I explored settings, moved things around, and finally pushed those ads to the end. Small win, right? But in doing that, I accidentally reset my entire theme. And then began the chaos. I had to manually customise everything!! Background, fonts, colors, tiny details I didn't even notice before. I gave it as much time as I could, but even now, something feels off. The fonts aren't consistent, the look isn't "perfect," and honestly, it's making me a little itchy. Till I find my patience and energy, maybe I’ll leave some things as they are. Slightly imperfect. Slightly unfinished.

Enjoy your life to the fullest… not for the camera, not for the comments, not for the validation. Let it show when we sit together someday, talking for hours without checking our phones. Let it be seen in your laughter that doesn't pause, in your stories that don't need filters, in your silence that feels full. Because the best parts of life were never meant to be posted anyway.

And if I forget another Wednesday like this again, I hope I'm at least busy living something worth forgetting time for.