Inkblot

I have the exact same feeling as a teenager who didn't show up to college for months and is embarrassed to go back. It's difficult to search for a greeting while appearing again, and that’s why and how I started with a shy line instead of a loud Hello!! It has been more than two months since I wrote for my blog. That doesn't mean I was writing something else. I had just sat back. During the course of these two months, I completed a semester exam and I have a ring shining bright on my left hand. Two months isn't a big disappearance, but it feels so because I went through so much and that makes it feel like a year altogether. When life overwhelms you, you forget your life for a while. That "while" took me two months. Fair enough! Many times, I had a very strong urge to write and I did come here and type something. But they were all left unfinished, and I didn't want to continue them when I came back. At the present, those drafts didn't make sense to me ...

How's life? I'm sorry if this made you think for a while. Alright! December alreadyyy and 2025 is going to be in the chapters of history soon! If I look back, I feel 2025 was very long for me. I vaguely remember what I did all year. All I can recall is that I cried so much this year. (You'll know why, either here or in my next blogs.) The reasons feel silly now, but back then they were massive mountains to climb. And this year, again, I haven’t fulfilled my resolutions. Every December, I feel all my resolutions were silly anyway. And of course, this time I didn’t wait for the 31st to peel off the list. Ironically, my 2025 resolutions are already in the trash can. I think I slipped into lowkey philosophy toward the end of 2024, and it shows in my 2025 resolution list. I had 21 goals, out of which 14 made absolutely no sense for a twenty-four-year-old girl. Someone could easily (mis)understand that the list belonged to a sixty-five-year-old retired lady. Even though I wrote t...

Hello there! I missed writing in the past few days. And since I haven’t been reading anything either, writing now feels like giving a presentation without any preparation. A late realization: books were extracting my writing juices! A bizarre feeling to experience though. Lately, I’ve realized that my eyes are unknowingly filtering what they encounter amidst the chaos. I am seeing everything blue. Actually, let me correct that  "Something in Blue" is what my eyes are focusing on. You’ll know more about this in a bit. This isn’t a new trait. Ever since I can remember, I’ve filtered out the things I wanted to see. As a kid, I would get scolded for this habit, misunderstood as “absent-mindedness” by others. But observing everything all at once feels exhausting. Why should a poor three-pound-brain remember witless, unnecessary details? There was this viral reel once — a guy would walk up to people and ask them to check the time on their phone. And then he’d ask, “What’s your bat...

I don’t read self-help books. Well, I don’t read anything other than fiction. Not even biographies or autobiographies. I haven’t read the famous  ' Wings of Fire' , ' The Story of My Experiments with Truth' , or ' Playing It My Way' . But I did read Anne Frank’s ' The Diary of a Young Girl' when I was in my teens. Though I don’t remember it clearly now, I loved reading her diary! Now, you can probably guess my reading choices. In the past few years, I’ve even bought some self-help books that were highly recommended, but I haven’t opened a single one till now. And to be honest, I’m planning to give them away to someone who’s a true self-help enthusiast. Why don’t I read them? As a kid or teenager, my reason would’ve been that they lack lead characters, emotions, sky descriptions, or mood changes. I still feel that way, but now I also have a valid reason: they make me depressed . I don’t even know how to read them! I can’t enthusiastically devour them, n...

Last night, I suddenly woke up to the thought, “Oh! I did forget that to-do yesterday.” I checked the time, 2:38 a.m. Neither could I squeeze back inside my blanket, nor did I have the energy to get up. My brain, however, decided to wake up. In no time, I was in front of my computer screen. The work that had caused this midnight guilt trip was done in less than twenty minutes. And then, I didn’t know what to do. So, I watched out my window. It was drizzling—soft, slow, and so soothing to watch. I studied for a while but ended up in daydreams (or maybe night dreams?). I even felt hungry but was too calorie-conscious to gobble anything. I finally dozed off around 4-ish, feeling mildly proud and mostly pitying myself for ruining my sleep cycle… again. It felt oddly satisfying to be the only one awake in the house. The night was quiet, calm, and slightly chilly. The drizzle outside and the glow of my screen created a strange sense of peace. At 3 a.m., everything feels gentler, even your w...

Dear reader, A very Happy Deepawali to you and your family, from mine to yours. May this festival of lights bring you abundant joy, success, good health, wealth, and love. May the Lord shower you with everything your heart truly desires.  Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed by the love you’ve been showing for my writings. Honestly, I never imagined in my wildest dreams that one day I’d write something and someone out there would actually read it!! I started this blog back in June 2024 with a simple intention. Many times, I would scribble my thoughts in my diary or on random scraps of paper… and then lose them later. I wanted to organize those, and more than that, I wanted to make writing a habit; because I always felt lighter after I wrote. I also wanted my words to stay safe, even after I’m gone. So, I created this personal blog to write whenever I felt like it. I didn’t plan to share it at first. But one day, without much thought, I posted the link to my very first write-up on my Whats...