Inkblot

Hello there! I missed writing in the past few days. And since I haven’t been reading anything either, writing now feels like giving a presentation without any preparation. A late realization: books were extracting my writing juices! A bizarre feeling to experience though. Lately, I’ve realized that my eyes are unknowingly filtering what they encounter amidst the chaos. I am seeing everything blue. Actually, let me correct that  "Something in Blue" is what my eyes are focusing on. You’ll know more about this in a bit. This isn’t a new trait. Ever since I can remember, I’ve filtered out the things I wanted to see. As a kid, I would get scolded for this habit, misunderstood as “absent-mindedness” by others. But observing everything all at once feels exhausting. Why should a poor three-pound-brain remember witless, unnecessary details? There was this viral reel once — a guy would walk up to people and ask them to check the time on their phone. And then he’d ask, “What’s your bat...

I don’t read self-help books. Well, I don’t read anything other than fiction. Not even biographies or autobiographies. I haven’t read the famous  ' Wings of Fire' , ' The Story of My Experiments with Truth' , or ' Playing It My Way' . But I did read Anne Frank’s ' The Diary of a Young Girl' when I was in my teens. Though I don’t remember it clearly now, I loved reading her diary! Now, you can probably guess my reading choices. In the past few years, I’ve even bought some self-help books that were highly recommended, but I haven’t opened a single one till now. And to be honest, I’m planning to give them away to someone who’s a true self-help enthusiast. Why don’t I read them? As a kid or teenager, my reason would’ve been that they lack lead characters, emotions, sky descriptions, or mood changes. I still feel that way, but now I also have a valid reason: they make me depressed . I don’t even know how to read them! I can’t enthusiastically devour them, n...

Last night, I suddenly woke up to the thought, “Oh! I did forget that to-do yesterday.” I checked the time, 2:38 a.m. Neither could I squeeze back inside my blanket, nor did I have the energy to get up. My brain, however, decided to wake up. In no time, I was in front of my computer screen. The work that had caused this midnight guilt trip was done in less than twenty minutes. And then, I didn’t know what to do. So, I watched out my window. It was drizzling—soft, slow, and so soothing to watch. I studied for a while but ended up in daydreams (or maybe night dreams?). I even felt hungry but was too calorie-conscious to gobble anything. I finally dozed off around 4-ish, feeling mildly proud and mostly pitying myself for ruining my sleep cycle… again. It felt oddly satisfying to be the only one awake in the house. The night was quiet, calm, and slightly chilly. The drizzle outside and the glow of my screen created a strange sense of peace. At 3 a.m., everything feels gentler, even your w...

Dear reader, A very Happy Deepawali to you and your family, from mine to yours. May this festival of lights bring you abundant joy, success, good health, wealth, and love. May the Lord shower you with everything your heart truly desires.  Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed by the love you’ve been showing for my writings. Honestly, I never imagined in my wildest dreams that one day I’d write something and someone out there would actually read it!! I started this blog back in June 2024 with a simple intention. Many times, I would scribble my thoughts in my diary or on random scraps of paper… and then lose them later. I wanted to organize those, and more than that, I wanted to make writing a habit; because I always felt lighter after I wrote. I also wanted my words to stay safe, even after I’m gone. So, I created this personal blog to write whenever I felt like it. I didn’t plan to share it at first. But one day, without much thought, I posted the link to my very first write-up on my Whats...

These days I am busy, so I am happy. And if someone asks me, “How are you?” I reply confidently, with a bold and loud, “I’m doing good.” My scale of happiness is set by the amount of work and chaos I carry. More the work, the better my mind. And you know what? I work best under pressure. Of course, after a cry session. Beware if a girl cries and later tightens her ponytail!!! I've been feeling very exhausted lately. Every day feels like a year! But surprisingly, I am totally enjoying it. Sometimes a long day feels irritating, but I do love that feeling of exhaustion which puts me to bed with a sense of calm, that quiet satisfaction of having done so much for the day. Recounting the things I completed makes me close my eyes in peace, smile, worry less, avoid overthinking, and sleep like a baby. Funnily, the next morning I wake up to the same chaos and never-ending to-do lists, and that very chaos drives me for the rest of the day. Let me ask you a question. How do you deal with proc...

I caught a cold last week.  I know, not the coolest first line to start with. But that's the truth, I caught a cold. Cold, followed by headache, viral fever, nerve-wracking pain, a running nose that later turned into a blocked one, a terrible cough, and of course, darker dark circles. My voice has completely shattered into pieces, and I’ve been calculating the number of words before I speak. I’ve been talking in short, broken sentences. Now you might know the extent of my throat infection. And the worst part? The cough that starts the very moment I lay my head on the pillow. The Universe truly knows to ruin my routine just when I start doing well; exercising regularly, keeping up my intermittent fasting , sleeping decently. And right then, the Universe decides to gift me a virus!!!!! Current Life Update: The picture says it all. ( I'm still breathing through  my mouth, by the way. Sleep has long eluded me. )   Never mind, do you know what’s still keeping me sane? The flav...